Excerpt from My First Novel Yellow Socks Confessions of a Non Don Juan

June 4, 2012

An Excerpt from my 2010 novel Yellow Socks- Confessions of a Non Don Juan

 

Skeleton Woman or Things Like Me Don’t Happen To You

 

Christ it happened again. Another notch in my “girls that want to be my friend” belt. It made sense. We were perfect friends and she was real cute too. I kept thinking that I was ok with it. I’d be happy just being a friend again. I keep turning to God for strength to accept my fate as “Friend to all women” that I’m attracted to. My acceptance level seems to be ok. I go to my happy place. I go to my cave. I say the serenity prayer over and over I am sure that I will be ok with this. Yes I will. (no I won’t)

 

Cut to a scene from Fight Club

 

TYLER

Stop it! This is your pain — this is your burning hand. It’s right here! Look at it.

 

JACK

I’m going to my cave. I’m going to my cave to find my power animal!

 

TYLER

No, don’t deal with this the way those dead people do. Come on

!

JACK

I get the point, ok, please!

 

TYLER

No, what you’re feeling is premature enlightenment.

 

Ok. I get the idea. Feel the pain. Feel the hurt. Feel the rejection saturating my heart until I bleed more than just these words all over the place and finger my open sore of a brain as it wants to dwell on her over and over again. Screaming and roaring her name with anger and grief and sometimes a slight relief that it’s done and I know that she will not reject me again unless I go back for more and more or less or a little bite of her cheeseburger and a sip of her Pepsi to tide me over until the next one comes along with better food and spirits for my, for me for. Four scores of seven years itch as I scratch the weathered tired out mongrel of an ego that was left stray years ago in a pound for wayward hearts and letches that can only love and never be loved.

 

The pain of being a friend. A friend. I’ve heard that “Let’s just be friends” millions of times in my life as I gargle a new mouthwash and toothpaste hoping my breath will be the answer to my problem. My problem is as follows: me, myself and I. We altogether are the problem. We want to be loved so bad that we give off the vibe that scares the shit out of women so they just want to be friends. Friends. Friends. I think to myself that will be fine. Friends is ok. It’ll do. I can accept that. Bullshit! Feel the pain I tell myself. Embrace it. the pain is your friend. To hurt is to be alive. I’ve never been so alive. I’m alive. So alive.

 

“Did you ever hear about the skeleton woman?” Morton asked.

 

“Was that a Glam rock band from the seventies?” I ask.

 

“Ha. Ha. Nah. It’s an ancient Indian story. This guy was fishing in the middle of a lake. He was totally into it. He was relaxed. Not a care in the world except catching the next fish. All of a sudden he feels a tug on his line and he yanks it up. A skeleton appears on his line. He doesn’t realize that it’s attached to his line and he gets scared. He starts paddling his boat away from it but it follows him. He still doesn’t realize that it’s attached to his line. He gets out of his boat and runs into the village and he is carrying his fishing rod and the skeleton is still right behind him. He jumps into his Tee Pee and it follows him in. He lies down and tries to hide not looking at it for a while. When he finally turns to look at the skeleton it has changed into the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She is his. The moral of the story is that he was minding his own business doing something he enjoyed and that’s when the right woman came along. In other words when you are not looking for love is when it will find you. ”

 

“I know that but it’s so fucking hard to stay focused on other things without thinking about how much I want to be loved. Fall in love. Ya know?” I responded.

 

“I know. I know.” Morton said.

 

“We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.” Tyler Durden

 

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Fetishes Part 6 – Nyotaimori Sushi and Naked Women

April 6, 2012

Nyotaimori

Fetish. The psychological definition of a fetish is any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. –Wikipedia

This is part 6 in my weird fetish series. Click here for part 5-Mechanophilia, here for part 4- Formicophilia, here for part 3- Trichophilia, here for part 2 Dacryphilia– and here for part 1- Nasophilia. Today it’s about Technophile.

Nyotaimori (Japanese: 女体盛り, “female body presentation”), often referred to as “body sushi”, is the practice of serving sashimi or sushi from the body of a woman, typically naked. Nantaimori (Japanese: 男体盛り) refers to the same practice using a male model. This subdivision of food play is originally an obscure Japanese practice not common in Japanese culture but that has attracted considerable international media attention. –Wikipedia

Some say it’s an art and others a novelty. Underneath it all there was and is a fetish quality to it and has been since the ancient ritual has begun. For people who love sushi and love mixing food with sex it is an erotic pleasurable experience.

Nyotaimori is the “art” or “fetish” of being aroused eating sushi off of the body of a naked woman or man depending on the party, customer and restaurant and it is one of many fetishes that involve sex and food. Many people enjoy combining these two parts of life because they are both very pleasurable, so you get double the enjoyment by putting them together. There are many restaurants in the U.S. and throughout Europe who use naked models with strategically placed dishes or leaves to serve sushi off of; you just have to enjoy your sushi at body temperature.

There are also body preparation requirements. The body must be thoroughly cleaned with anti-biotic, hypo-allergenic and fragrance free soap. This is followed by splashes of cold water to withstand the cold sushi and keep it cold as long as possible. Some governments require a layer of plastic between the body and the sushi due to sanitation laws and I’m sure this is not as enjoyable for the fetishist.

I’ sure I would try it for the sheer novelty of it like trying any novelty restaurant. I think I’ve said this before, as many kinks and fetishes I do have, mixing food with sex is one thing I can’t stomach.

Although a lot of Nyotaimori is experienced through dinner parties and the hiring of models that can stand still, there are reastaurants as well.

Here’s a website I found called Sushi Nomads http://www.sushinomads.com/sushi-blog/nyotaimori-and-nantaimori-naked-sushi

For all of your Nyotaimori needs.


Fetishes Part 5- Mechanophilia

August 17, 2011

Fetish. The psychological definition of a fetish is any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. –Wikipedia

This is part 5 in my weird fetish series. Click here for part 4, here for part 3, here for part 2 and here for part 1. Today it’s about Mechanophilia.

Mechaphilia or Mechanophilia is a paraphilia describing a sexual attraction to machines such as bicycles, motor vehicles, helicopters, and airplanes. To achieve a deep sexual and mental connection with a mechanical object. It is treated as a crime in some nations with perpetrators being placed on a sex offenders’ register after prosecution. Motorcycles are often portrayed as sexualized fetish objects to those that desire them. Pleasures derived from the physio-pleasures involved like tactile sensations of using the controls, the colors, the smells etc. In other words people who have Mechanophilia get aroused from the every aspect of the object. Some (like a lot of fetishists) can only become excited sexually when thinking about and imagining sexual encounters with the objects mentioned above or even acting out these fantasies.

I don’t understand this specific fetish but I understand the “only thing” that gets a fetishists off part . I do have problem with it being a criminal problem unless a person exposes themselves in public.  If you’re caught humping or licking your car you are arrested and put on a “sex offender” list? That’s stupid in my opinion. I’ve been in love with and named my cars and bicycles but if I chose to lick and fondle them in public, who cares? I guess if you have this particular paraphilia then keep it in your garage or house. That’s what I would do.

Again I repeat that I have some fetishes of my own so I try to understand the different paraphilias I write about. I can’t judge this but I do say you have the right to liek anything if you don’t hurt anyone. “Don’t knock it til ya tried it” I’ve heard. Maybe I will.


Fetishes Part 5- Agalmatophilia: Dolls and Mannequins Fetish

June 28, 2011

 

Fetish. The psychological definition of a fetish is any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. –Wikipedia

This is part 5 in my weird fetish series. Click here for part 4, here for part 3, here for part 2 and here for part 1. Today it’s about Agalmatophilia.

Agalmatophilia is the sexual attraction to statues, dolls, mannequins and other inanimate objects resembling people. It’s a sexual arousal one gets from these objects. Agalmatophilia includes the actual sex act with a statue, doll, mannequin etc., non sexual encounters pretending they are real and converse with the objects, the fantasy of sexual and non-sexual relations, watching encounters between other people and the objects and between the objects themselves (like having Barbie fuck Ken), and some have the fantasy of the sexual pleasure form the idea of being transformed into the object itself. Agalmatophilia may also include Pygmalion’s (from the myth of Pygmalion), which is a love for one’s actual creation of a such objects mentioned above.

This one word covers a wide territory in this unusual yet semi-popular paraphilia. I think back to when I was an extremely horny teen and I bought a blow up doll named Candy. I wrote a story similar to my experience in my novel, Yellow Socks: Confessions of a Non-Don Juan. I tried it out a few times and got bored so I guess I’m not an Agalmatophiliac. I did want to try out a Real Doll. You know the special $6.000 life size and life like women they make per order and how you want her. I don’t think I’d spend the money even if I had it. Maybe.

When I was a kid my biological family was worried that I might be gay (they were quite prejudice)  because I owned “dolls” as they called them. I called them action figures. I bought the Charlie’s Angels action figures and played with them. I was too young to think about actually having sex with them but I did undress them quite a bit. For a while I thought women were crotchless based on my “doll” experience.

I also have owned mannequins and dressed them up in pantyhose and sexy dresses. I had a few fantasies but it wasn’t overwhelming enough to do anything to the “object”. She was cute with no head. I made her one. Or two.

Ok maybe I am part Agalmatophiliac.. How about you?

Next up . . . . . Fetish number 6 . . .Whatever I find as interesting, repulsive or relatable.


Live Book Reading from Yellow Socks Video

April 29, 2011

Now you can read it yourself. Just click the Yellow Socks cover pic.


Fetishes Part 4- Formicophilia: Insect Fetish

April 17, 2011

Fetish. The psychological definition of a fetish is any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. –Wikipedia

This is part 4 in my weird fetish series. Click here for part 3, here for part 2 and here for part 1. Today it’s about Formicophilia.

Formicophilia, a form of zoophilia, is the sexual interest in being crawled upon or nibbled by small insects, such as ants. This paraphilia often involves the application of insects to the genitals, but other areas of the body may also be the focus. The desired effect may be a tickling or stinging sensation, or the infliction of psychological distress on another person. -Wikipedia

There are select people out there who want to put insects on their genitals for sexual arousal. Others enjoy a sexual pleasure inflicting it on other people. I try not to judge because anyone that has known me intimately knows I’m full of “unique” sexual interests.

I have no personal experience with this particular fetish. I never heard of it until today. I wonder what my reaction would be if I encountered a sex partner who wanted bugs on themselves or me for sexual stimuli. I’ve always been pretty open when it comes to sex and people’s fetishes. I also have limits. I don’t judge people for their fantasies and turn-ons but sometimes there are moral dilemmas. Technically this is Zoophilia. It’s getting sexual pleasure from animals. I consider animals to be unwilling partners therefore it’s a form of rape. True acts against nature. What did they call it in Clerks 2? Interspecies Erotica? It’s too unnatural in my opinion. I usually don’t have opinions either.

Anyone can fantasize about anything the want but if it’s with an unwilling partner whether it be a mentally handicapped person, child, animal or insects, it’s considered rape in this mentally handicapped (?) sexual deviant(?).


Fetishes Part 3-Trichophilia: Hair Fetish

February 24, 2011

Fetish. The psychological definition of a fetish is any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation. It can also be sub categorized as a paraphilia.

Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. -Wikipedia

This is my 3rd fetish article about trichophilia.(click here to read part 2 and here for part 1)

Trichophilia or hair fetishism is a paraphilia in which one becomes sexually aroused by, or is extremely fond of, human hair; commonly head hair.

Arousal may occur from imagery and physical contact of hair, this includes head hair, pubic hair, axillary hair and fur. Head hair arousal may come from watching or touching very long hair, hair cutting, long bangs, red hair (freckle fetishism), wet hair, new hairstyles, permanent wave etc.

Long hair fetishism as well as haircut fetishism seems to be common, since there are hundreds of web sites and forums devoted to both these forms of fetishisms, based in countries around the world. Especially the haircut fetish is apparently a secret, largely unknown or little discussed by the media, or even acknowledged in Western culture. –Wikipedia

There was a girl I used to hang out with at my favorite watering hole years ago. She had the best hair. She had long black full hair halfway down her back. She never made an effort to put any work into it either. She washed it and combed it and let it fall as is. “As is” was perfect. You’re probably thinking I have Trichophilia about now but this girl’s hair could give anyone a temporary case of Trichophilia,

She told me a story about a man stopping her on the street and offered her $1,000 to “cum” on her hair. She politely declined in her usual non-chalant way. She wasn’t shocked easily. I told her she should have done it. We had a good laugh and went on with our night. My hair was long at the time and wondered if I would have taken the money.

I guess I’ve been aware of a hair fetish but never thought much about it until I googled it and found hundreds of sites talking about it, showing pics and videos. I find it interesting that people have various fetishes and paraphilia. It’s also interesting that it’s mostly men that have them statistically.

So, ladies, when your running your fingers through your hair or flipping it around so men will notice keep in mind that there might be a trichophiliac in the room or on the street of sitting next to you right now.

 

 

 


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