March 26, 2013

Hey guys. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Been a long time. Too long. Anyway, I’m back posting blogs and things. Meanwhile follow me on Twitter.    http://www.twitter.com/richhillenjr

Here’s a picture:

0phgirlcar RichMadHatStairway


Underground Poets Society of 2012

June 3, 2012

I haven’t been blogging on here for a bit. I’ve been writing a lot of poetry lately and posting it on a poetry page on Facebook. I’ll be publishing a poetry collection by October for the Underground Modern Poets of 2012 book.

Here’s a few samples

BLOODY TOILS

by Tara Seuss

…. my blood is boiling over and over. yes, it is over. make this nightmare stop. stop fucking asking me please, stop everything. stop you. you make me blue, i want you to be fucking true and i want to kill you. i want to kill these toils, troubles and fucking bubbles you cause, fuck off i’m sorry (audience please applause). burn burn, oh yeah, you’re gonna burn- kid you have no idea how much you have to learn. first lesson, you have to give if you want to earn. correction, put that lesson back on the shelf……your only hope is to be someone else. amen.
  • Comfort
  • By Art Glibfunny
    it was a box
    just a box
    a small
    red
    rectangular
    cardboard box
    with big
    bright
    yellow cages on it
    containing confectionary animals
    from worlds away
    a consumable passport
    to happiness

    it had a string
    to carry it
    and
    it brought joy
    and happiness
    while
    begging great
    questions about
    life at large
    and my place in the
    world
    in the
    young
    comfort
    thank you mom
    days of my
    bologna
    mustard
    and lettuce
    wax paper
    wrapped
    lunch box
    childhood

    even today
    as I cradle
    the red
    cardboard
    box
    and enjoy
    a flat cookie creature
    from the
    flour zoo
    I am
    transported back
    from my jaded
    wake up
    nap time is over
    tired
    adult
    traveled path
    to the buster brown
    saddle shoe
    milk and
    graham cracker
    comfort and
    innocence
    so vital to
    happy longevity
    and the
    human condition

  • SQt 2010
Untitled by Ilan Miller
My heart is a proximity mine, send in the dogs, pull the pin, change the channel, and watch your step.

Don’t come in, the waters not fine, the rats are abandoning ship, your favorite show has been cancelled, and violence prevails.

Life has become a sad 80s montage, only dumbed down. The finish lines been burned, there is no consolation prize.

My personal hell has frozen over, I grab my glass, my icepick and my whiskey and I think of days long gone…

There’s many more and I’ll post some here and there. If I didn’t post yours it’s only because I chose a few random great poems. Like I said-More to come!



Hillen Prison Blues – I Feel the Fluids Rushing

March 29, 2012

I feel the fluids rushing

Up and down

And back

Up and down

My back

Spine

Light headed

Heavy hearted

Ears fuzzy disoriented

Vertigo

Bones crack every time

I move

Elbows

Knees

Hands

Feet

Fingers

Toes

FACE

My facial affliction

Nerves explode

Fireworks of the nerves

Side of my face

I seek relief

Scream in agonizing

Torture and terror

I chose

Sleep to

Escape

Forget

Awake

Remember

Impairment

Then depression

Sleep

Forget

I want to forget

I don’t want to sleep

I want to sleep

I love my sleep

But not much

My dreams are pleasant

And my reality is a

Nightmare

But

I’d rather have the bad dreams and the good life

“Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them.” Edgar Allen Poe said.

 

“Sleep. Those little slices of pleasure. How I adore them.” Rich Hillen Jr said


Angel Train and a Cup of Joe

March 16, 2012

Sometimes I think she’s the prettiest girl alive. She might be. She certainly is to her boyfriend (I hope). Long black hair. Big brown eyes. Petite and well proportioned. I’ve never had a real life conversation with her. I haven’t even physically seen her in a couple of years. I rarely see her post on facebook. I rarely think about her. This has little to do with my story except it’s about her. Carmella or Bailey. The 2 names I’ve assigned to her for anonymity sake. She is still my guardian angel. I only have interactions in my dreams and they are not always significant either. She’s in my life and subconscious for a reason.

 

Her face was the last one I saw before my alarm went off at 7 am this morning. I woke up with a smile. The thought of her always gives me a smile. My dreams of her always give me a smile. Maybe I should think of her more so I smile more.

 

The dream wasn’t anything out there or cosmic. It was a dream of hanging out with a bunch of friends after an unrelated dream. Half of the friends I knew and half I didn’t. Only Joe, Brian and Seth were actual real friends from real life. The rest were acquaintances and people I’ve seen before like Bailey who I choose to call my guardian angel. We were all riding a train going ot an event of some kind. A concert, a parade, a convention. It was some event I normally wouldn’t go to and ride a train to. I was hanging mostly with Joe. He was out of character. Not at first.

 

Joe was his usual self drinking a coffee and letting me talk when I spotted Bailey. I wanted to point her out to him because I’ve talked to him more than anyone about her. He seemed too distracted by the people and the good time and tuned me out. This wasn’t the unusual part. Just as I was trying to tell him about my guardian angel personified he chugged a 5 hour energy drink and as we got off the train Joe ran off into the distance forcing me back in the crowd next to Bailey and a girlfriend of hers that I have spoken to but didn’t know real well. I was forced by the crowd to exit the train next to Bailey. I told her what Joe had just done.

 

“He drank all of that coffee and a 5 hour energy drink on an empty stomach? That’s crazy. No wonder he’s running off with all of that temporary energy.” Bailey spoke to me for the first time in what I perceived as real life in my dream.

 

How did she know all of the details when I didn’t know them all? I was just overjoyed that she spoke to me and said something back to her to make her smile. She has the brightest happiest smile that made me smile more. The damned alarm went off before  could talk to her more. That’s all I wanted.

 

But still, I woke up with a smile and felt compelled to write about it. About her.

 

Is it possible to be in love with someone I don’t know? Or am I just in love with the Bailey that appears in my dreams? I’m not even sure what love is. This dream and my thoughts of her will fade within the day and it’ll probably be months before I think or dream of her again but I know she’ll be back. I wonder what this means. Then again I wonder a lot of things.


Bump Bang Bye – A Poem

February 27, 2012

Events cruising like Al Pacino through

Mutated sexual caravans filled with

Like-minded creatures of the day light

Bump Bump Bump

 

Her affordable anguish seems to cost

Her fiancé more than her

Mangle is such a felicitous word

Bang Bang Bang

 

Aortic anvils drop

Falls rapidly in the ruins

It’s delightful to my

Sad eyes

Bye Bye Bye

 

Exotic dumplings

Fancy affair

Dance

Sing

Cry

 

Bump

Bang

Bye

 


No internet? “No Money”?

August 22, 2011

So, my internet is down at home. Ugh. Great timing when I’m starting up a new web site, maintaining current sites and selling my art etc has been over 25% of my monthly income. I’ll be doing what I can once a day if I’m not too sick to get to a coffee shop or something to check in.

I’ll sum up my life right now.

I am completely broke. Can’t pay the rent. Obviously can’t pay the cable. Can’t pay car insurance. Can’t pay phone bill. Etc etc etc.

I’ve been in and out of a deep depression some days I cant move when the face pain is added. I have 2 doctor appointments this week with a psychiatrist and a neurologist for social security. All of the hoops and the time it takes or this disability shit is causing me more stress, depression, anxiety, and face pain than a job. Just when I think it’s over and they made a decision I get another letter that I have to jump through another hoop. I have never been this broke in my entire life. I’m almost ready to crack from the pain of the SSD process.

I hope I’ll be posting soon. I hope you keep reading the decline of the bipolar disabled self absorbed artist named Rich Hillen Jr


%d bloggers like this: