I wake up to the smell of cabbage
I am sleeping on a giant cabbage leaf
The blue . . . no green . . now orange
Rib caged baby lion in a now current
Monster of coolness of sorts sorts the
Mail on his autumn leaves in Louisville
A cup of Earl Grey tea you fancy?
Fancy me? What did I do?
Where did I go?
Carpet cleaners are coming around noon.
Can they, would they spray me down with pink poison?
So, I can breathe again
Slim Gilliard would love the gibberish singing you screech
To me about fried ice cream and potato chips.
Alternatives? Drink snot and call me in the morning.
Call someone before you snuff it, off it, give up.
Please.
I’d like to catch up first.
Not save you. Live, learn and breathe with you.
You can go anytime just talk to me first.
Please
Something in the way she crowds around me
Grinds spines in the old chop shop
Aunt Dollien operated by herself
I should have, you should have
Helped her. Bloody mess it was.
Not she. 117-years-old and still
In charge. We listen and obey
She rides off into the distance towards the rising sun
Like the girl with no name in a Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western.
Bang Bang. You shot me down.
Bang Bang! I’m vested and not crying yet
Ready
To meet my Angels. Are you?
Powder blue suntan, flowering yellow hair,
Insects in your eyes, resting, not doing any harm
They need rest too, ya know.
Sink deep into an opiate coma with me
With him, with her, everybody sing
“All we need is Love”
The bed drops softly to accommodate
Our bodies.
“Everybody is just a little homosexual. Whether they like or not” Allan Ginsberg once sang through my departed allies.
The piss in your pants somehow comes off
As a romantic gesture. just not sure who or whom or me.
Romance, courting and foreplay have changed.
Piss, spit and a clean T-shirt is all we desire
Under the brown, dark chocolate brown, chair
That wiggles when I turn on Wagner.
Maybe it’s German. Jewish.
“You should burn it and find out.” Jack said to me
Wiping the cocaine off his Skrewdriver T-shirt.
Salute the master. Carry his bones to the crematory
Make sure he’s powdered. Maybe a nice face powder someday.
Bring your tired looking face back to life.
They call you “face job” ya know?
I call you love.
Is life worth the sadness, the happiness, the ups and downs?
Worth love? Worth death?
Worth money?
(pause and take a deep breath.)
Tuna. Grazed grazed 2 day old fish marked down 58 percent.
Thank God for the rain or the smell would have turned on the perverts and scared the little girls.
Take me back to the thousand foot
Red tranquil trees hanging over my head
Terrifying peace as the sun goes down.
Dreams don’t have to die
Ya know?

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Paralyzed From The Inside Out
January 24, 2012Paralyzed from the inside out.
My brain is functioning yet my body can’t move. Glued to the couch unable to even change the channel with the remote. I want a cigarette but can’t lift my arm to light it.
I can feel my insides shake nervously. Rapidly. My heart is beating a mile a minute yet I can’t move my body. My head is unfocused. The television is in front of me making blurred sounds and images.
I pray. I cry. I take deep breaths.
Finally, I can move just enough to get to the pill bottle and swallow anti-anxiety meds, I manage to sit up and wait. I fall back down.
It passes. Now I am worn out from the experience. Tired.
Whew.
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