Nightmares and Dreams Video Experiment

July 9, 2011

Home.

Bed

Dream.

Smile. Dream.

Nightmare.

Fear.

Sexual delight

Frustration

Proactive


I’m Over- A Poem & Experimental Video

May 11, 2011

I’m Over

Over

I’m Under

I’m Under the spell.

The scent, the feel, and the entire experience.

Under it.

Under them.

Her.

You.

I’m distracted with obsessive focus.

First I thrust through the clouds into something I would never dream about.

Then I relax and follow the compulsive winds.

I’m Under.

I arrive.

I’m there.

I’m here.

I’m In.

I’m in it. I’m in them.

Her.

You.

Release. Relax. Control.

I’m over. I’m over.

Over.


Live Book Reading from Yellow Socks Video

April 29, 2011

Now you can read it yourself. Just click the Yellow Socks cover pic.


Interview with a Psychopath Video

April 5, 2011


Afghanistan All GIrl Band Rock their Burkas!!!

January 29, 2011

I have not had this much excitement over a discovery of a new band since my friend dragged me to see the Japanese Punk band Peelander-Z who bill themselves as a “Japanese Action Comic Punk band hailing from the Z area of Planet Peelander”. Each member is dressed in a Power Rangers style costumes with hard plastic colored wigs to match and name themselves after each color: Peelander Blue, red and Yellow. They have one of the craziest and funniest stage acts and songs. I’ll have to right about them another time. Look them up on YouTube although you have to see them live to really appreciate them. It’s like watching rocky Horror on television instead of the movie theater or worse: listening to the soundtrack without ever seeing the movie at all.

This article is about my latest discovery. It’s about the controversial Afghan all girl pop punk trio called the Blue Burka Band. The band had a short career in 2003 because in Afghanistan music and dancing was forbidden under the Taliban rule. Afghanistan still considers girls playing music and singing as even more of a disgrace.

These three girls draped in their blue burkas blare their rebellious and hilarious songs like pros. Their style has been compared to the 1980’s band Bananarama. They do the standard simple steps, microphone and guitars swinging but between the satirical and political lyrics and pop punk music they are not just your average girl band. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the burkas that not only make a political statement, show their sense of humor and mystery but hide them from their audience, the media and their potential oppressors and enemies.

They sing songs making fun of the Afghanistan oppressors and the burkas them selves. Their biggest hit is a song called Blue Burka with lyrics like “You give me all your love, you give me all your kisses, and then you touch my burka, and don’t know who it is…”

Unlike the rock n roll legend KISS who kept their secret identities in the 1970’s for the novelty and the anonymity in public, the Blue Burka Band stay under their burkas hide their identity from the authorities of Afghanistan. Their very existence was and stil can be dangerous on multiple levels. The were breaking “laws” by being women singing in a band, making fun of the ruling class, wearing the burkas to mock the oppression of women in Afghanistan.

They recorded their single in Germany in 2003 and played shows in Europe when they could. Despite the changes in the following years they still won’t play in Afghanistan and are pretty much staying underground waiting for the right time to emerge again. According to the singer to this day there are only 10 people in Afghanistan that know their real identity.

Unfortunately the only way to see their video these days is on YouTube. One day they hope to get back on the road and record. I can’t wait. I hope they grace the stages of the United States or I might have to break down and get a passport.


“Dumb Bitches Who Eat Diarrhea Out of the Gutter “

December 23, 2010

Racism sucks. It’s stupid and even silly. I’ve had my moments of prejudice or judgment but I can’t hate a group for people based on their color or religion. I make a lot of jokes about races, religions etc. Stereotypes. I even make them to the people who fall into the categories. Years ago I worked with a black friend and we were always slinging racist words at each other. Mostly in front of people for shock value. Then we’d go get high after work and hang out. I joke with my Japanese friend. I dated an Indian girl not too long ago and I even made jokes with her. When I make a joke about race or religion I don’t mean it and I usually do it with people that understand that. I just think it’s funny. I don’t believe in it.

 

In June 2010 I posted a video tributing the beauty of Indian women that I happen to find attractive. I find all races attractive and love women for who they are. I used a classic Indian Pop song from 1965 from a movie called Gumnaam called  Jaan Pehechaan Ho by Mohammed Rafi. Great song by the way. Anyway I loved the song and the images and it was an immediate hit. Of course none of my original music or spoken word goes over this well. I had near 1,800 hits by July then my first comment.

 

It said:

“There are no hot women in india. They are all disgusting, stinky, ugly, dumb bitches who eat diarrhea out of the gutter because they have no money.”

 

I responded:

“This video has been up for almost a month and over 1,800 views and this is the only comment I get. Oh brother.”

 

A few months went by and I somehow missed the following comment from someone else.

 

It said:

“go and take a shower u fucken indian bitch !!! the smell of curry is coming out from my screen..”

 

Then 2 days ago I was happy that I got another comment. Then I read it.

 

It said:

“what else u expected when you uploated pics of south Indian witches”

 

I responded:

“31,149 views since June and counting. You helped the count. Thanks.”

 

It’s up to 31, 916 views as of right now. In 2 days over 800 views. Weird. I have this up since June 2010 and I have that many views and I get 3 comments and they are all racist. Geesh.

 

I’ll probably make more of all nationalities and piss off people by loving everyone. Does it make me a hater if I hate those who hate?

 


Live Reading from my Novel Yellow Socks & a Promo Video

December 23, 2010

 

 


Life is Changing and Changing

November 14, 2010

Life is changing and changing. I heard that if your not changing and growing then you are dying. If you are a creative person and you are not creating then you are dying. The past few months have been different to say the least. The past few years have been unusually different to say the most. Some days I’m so focused on  my goals and dreams and other days I’m off the races in my mind and can’t function. I don’t know f I am growing but I am changing.

It seems like I keep waking up and everything that has happened in my life was a dream. Good dream and bad dream. One day I’m living in an apartment I can’t afford even though I had a job and I was whacked out on pain meds, psych meds and life in general the next day I’m clean and sober with less Psych meds living with my parents helping my sick father who eventually died. Then I’m in house with my mother and I lose my job but I have money in the bank and a little unemployment coming my way so it was comfortable.

I published not just one novel but three books within a moth. I felt great creatively and spiritually. I believe those are connected. Life is rolling along one day at a time. Then the pressure starts hitting me to think about a career. A job. Something. My mother and my friends think it’s time I go to work. I secretly disagreed.

What I thought was an epiphany turned out to be a fantasy and an unrealistic reality. I thought that I wanted ot get into Drug and Alcohol counseling. I talked to some people and researched half assedly. I found out I needed two years of recovery to get into the particular places I was looking for. I used it as an excuse not ot look for anything else.

I woke up one day and I am suddenly renting a house from a friend and out of my mom’s house. I still have no job and my savings are dwindling. No muney and more bills. I have a house mate. We started a business venture that may or may not pay off but we at least started it.

I went form no job plenty of money living with mom creating every day to sharing a house with a friend and business partner with no job and no money and less motivation to write and create. My energies are in the business. No income is expected for a while but I refuse to work. Sure I do a little part time work for an uncle but nothing serious.

My anxiety levels and agoraphobia keep me house ridden for days sometimes. I hate socializing. What happened to “good time Charlie” as an old friend once called me?

It seems I went from mr social guy to hermit overnight. It did take years. Some say it’s part of me growing up. Some say it’s my mental problems. Some say “get a job, ya bum”. Some say nothing at all. What can they say?

It’s not easy being human. I was going ot say me but I know everyone has problems. They just don’t wear them on their sleeves or like merit badges on their chest like I do sometimes.

I never thought that I’d be at a place in my life where I refused to look for a job. I’m not sure if it’s stubbornness, fear, my determination to succeed in other areas, or my mental illness and anxiety.

I went from having a job and lots of money living with my mother to no job, no money, paying rent etc. I keep waking up everyday in a different state of mind with a different focus and different awareness. I wonder who am I? Where am I going? What am I doing? Then I run away and hide in other thoughts that either thrill me or upset me fro the day.

The only thing I know is that tomorrow is another day. I never know what is around the corner and if I at least try at life I will feel a live. I hope. I always have hope.


Facebook “Pokes” May Lead to Prison

September 1, 2010

Be careful who you “poke”. It could lead to imprisonment, fines and worse yet- a suspended facebook account.

May 3oth 2010, Jerry Sabattio, a 54 year old man of  Coldspring, MO was charged with harassment, stalking and lewd internet behavior with under age girls on the popular social networking site Facebook. He was “poking” over a thousand underage girls a day online.

After hundreds of complaints from the girls and their families his account was suspended on facebook and many of the families pressed charges against him. He faces fines up to $5,000 and 1-5 years in jail. Jerry states that he was “just having harmless fun with people. It is a social network after all.”

Police seized his computer and were surprised to find no pornography but only a history of thousands of Facebook pages and most of them were bookmarked ad a favorites. It seems that this 54-year-old accountant and divorcee had a clean record and a clean computer other than the Facebook pages he saved most of which were underage girls that he poked.

Poking is a feature on Facebook that seems to be harmless. On each profile there is a link that says “Poke (fill in the name). A person clicks the button and it gets sent to the recipient’s home page. If they do not “Poke” you back then you can not poke them again unless they delete the announcement of your Poke. Some have found it to be an annoying little feature and chose to ignore it. Some don’t even know that it’s there or what it means. It is intended as a way of saying “hi” without actually having to message a person. Some use it as a form of flirtation and others just do it for the fun of it.

Jerry Sabattio used it to try and get the attention of underage girls and claims “I was addicted. I just go on a profile and hit a button and move on to the next girl. I never said anything rude or even talked to the girls. I just poked them whenever I could and didn’t pay attention to their ages. There is nothing more exhilarating than the feeling of someone actually poking me back.”

After many appeals over the summer his court date is finally set for September 16th 2010 in Douglas County Court House.

Another related story on this YouTube News Report I found. It’s not just men who “Poke” the wrong people.

Personally, I am going to keep on poking and express my freedom of pokes. So poke off.


Delete Me: A Poem & Spoken Word Video

July 31, 2010

I wrote the following loosely based on my last entry. I also made a vido for it you can find on the bottom of the page.

Delete me. Go ahead delete me. Delete. Delete. Delete.

Carry your gun in the waist band of your stretch pants that won’t stretch any more if your tried and you tried. A gun that you use in the wrong places with the wrong people and the wrong intentions. It’s not even loaded. The gun. Not you. Loaded.

Delete me from your world from your cancer from your bloody sounded heart that you think is screaming but it only cries for more love. Love you can’t have.

Stick your pencil between your eyes and twist it as you open and close your eyelids slobbering my name while kissing a tree that will never understand you like me.

Delete me. Delete. Go ahead. It’s ok. Delete me.

Push the panic button and no one comes running anymore because they’re tired of your boy cry wolf mentality. Too many false alarms for anyone to understand. I understand. It’s ok. You can let go now.

Delete me from your heart and fill it with vengeance and hatred. Kill. Destroy.

Run for the hills little one while you still have a chance to get away from me. Or do you? Am I always there?

Distracting yourself with THINGS that keep you busy. THINGS that do nothing for anyone except distract you from me. Me. THINGS.

Delete me as you drive over the speed limit racing to anywhere that you don’t have to feel anything.

What kind of God allows you to feel this way? What are you doing? Why? Who do you think you are? Ok so maybe even a broken clock is right twice a day. Maybe you can self help yourself and forgive God for leaving you alone. Maybe your cancer isn’t so bad. Maybe the wounds will heal. Maybe your heart will soften over time. Time. Time to reveal yourself to the ancient ones in a language you don’t speak. Time to stop running. Let go. Let go!

Delete me. Delete me. Delete me.

Are you finished yet?

I am still here.


%d bloggers like this: