August 8, 2013
Banging Eesha Khare was just the beginning of Hermo’s erotica accomplishments
like his ability to cook a badass vegan quiche that knocked the panties off of many a youngin’. He’s tasted the sweat inside the sour and the sweet off the hog. Heroic whoremonger and all round lady’s man until she came along.
He’s experienced everything from the powerful and almighty golden shower power hour to the screeching bandages of stiff loves and rubbery limp limbs.
Her string cheese hair and incensed lips stopped Hermo Condara’s eyes from blinking the first time she smiled a hello.
After finishing a Kama Sutra lesson with Jodi Arias with and without KY and no k9, our hero ventured into the Holo Venute room to relax with a pseudo pint of lager and 3 Asian girls to perform a pedicure and nasal spray, Hermo spotted her across the nitro-room.
Quiandra Pamacharatih was a work of art in the nitro-room. She looked, moved and spoke like she belonged hanging in the middle of the most colorful of fine art exhibits. Her Mayan Princess features stood strong on along her entire face. Hermo’s pale gaze fell down her body lightly covered in a tan gauze dress right down to her dark sculpted toes stretching the rubber on her golden sandals as she stood up.
Hermo stared at Quiandra as he pulled his hands out of his armpits to give a quick sniff check followed by a short breath check. He extended his stinky fingers to shake her hand as he introduced himself. She could smell him on her fingers and she smiled her sparkling pearls under her thick Mayan lips. He smiled back at her with his twelve yellow tooth smile.
As Hermo launched Quiandra into the air and carried her off in the sunset. He could hear his ancestors cheer. Of all of the erotica accomplishments, cooking abilities and hogtying bare naked green cheerleaders of Southern Kitchen Inc, dusting Quiandra’s aftershock into the wind. Our hero smiles as you fade to black.
August 15, 2012
Confusion as to my favorite mind crime and dirty thoughts of her
Dreams, visions, sexual obsessions convoluted into one smear of a love lust
That haunts me, thrills me, chills me and makes me feel unworthy of her
Fantasies night after night and I wake up in sweats and frustrated that she will never be
Next to me in my bed or hers or anywhere with me
Oh Latina Lolita I worship you secretly
Your eyes, your hair, your body- oh your perfect body I can just stare at you from afar for hours and the fact I can never touch you is alright with me as long as I know you are in the same world as me
You live your life and I’ll try to live mine with my secret love and lust for you
I will keep smiling as I whisper your name
Oh Manuela . . .
July 17, 2012
On Saturday afternoon I was doing some extra work (cleaning carpets) for my uncle in a law office building I sometimes help clean in Haddonfield, New Jersey. It was an arts fair day so the front of the building and the whole street was closed down and filled with vendor’s tents. My co-worker and I would take breaks outside and catch a smoke.
One of those breaks a beautiful Japanese woman came up to me real friendly asking how I was. Since her and her friend were dressed in similar floral print dresses and she was holding what looked like a post card in her hand I assumed she was going to try and sell me something. My co-worker complimented her pretty dress and I nodded in agreement. She kept smiling and making semi-flirtatious small talk and I was still waiting for a sales pitch that never came.
She asked me what work I was doing after asking me why I was there. I told her cleaning carpets. She smiled and said that was much better then working at the mall. The whole encounter only lasted about 5 minutes and she said goodbye and it was great to see me again. Again? As she was walking away in the distance it hit me that I knew her. She used to be a customer of mine when I was a server at a restaurant at the mall. A regular customer of mine. I used to know her by name. Damn, she is beautiful.
There I was with a beautiful sexy young woman flirting with me and I not only did nothing about it but I didn’t even know what was going on. This has happened many times before especially the not knowing a woman was into me until after the fact usually when someone tells me. I guess my self esteem is low, my memory is bad and I forgot what it’s like to be around women. Things are going to change. I mean to say things are going to change even more or I’m going to miss out on some prime opportunities in life.
To quote the great Ralph Malph from Happy Days “I still got it.”.
June 18, 2012
Bagels and cream cheese at the end of my street
Comical caravans drive by my feet
Stick it to man and I get stabbed in the back
Ain’t no lovin for me just quite yet
The edge of the park is a nice place to rest
Light a mouthful of grass- the fresh picked best
Share it with the children and get poked with a stick
Ain’t no lovin for me quite just yet
Light three candles at the corner Catholic Church
For the three that I love who never got the hearst
My Sunday best clothes melt a holy water scam
Ain’t no lovin for me quietly quite yet
Oh driver oh driver do drive me away
Far from this level of the story I am stuck
Where the joke has no punch line
And I don’t give a skunk
Ain’t no love for me until I am ready you
Not just quite yet
June 17, 2012
Father’s Day has been an odd day for me through the years as I’m sure that there are many others who could say the same. I was fortunate to have 2 fathers. I didn’t get to share this love until later in life but there were only a few brief years I didn’t have a “father” with me and even then I lived with my grandfather who played the father figure role.
When I was adopted at the age of 11 I had no contact with my biological father for around 5 years or so at this point but I wanted to keep my birth name for some reason. I was proud to be a Junior of a man I had yet to know. I heard good and bad stories from family and even fictional stories from my mentally ill biological mother through the years.
After a year or so of settling in with my new parents I celebrated Father’s Day with my new dad I called by his first name Bill. He raised me trying to be the best father he could and did a decent job despite my already wacky ways. He wasn’t the type to celebrate holidays much Father’s Day wasn’t a big deal. We’d have a more formal meal or go out to eat and I’d get him something but as I got older all it came and went.
In my 20s my biological father came back into my life. It took a couple years to drop our baggage and become friends and it was worth it. Then I had 2 dads. Some years I divided my time and other years I neglected my real father. I give him a lot of credit for hanging in there with me. I haven’t been the best son to him but he tried to be the best father. We’ve been building since. We started slowly but eventually started getting together once a week and did lunch and we kept with it until we both were broke and changed it to once a month and we still get together.
Meanwhile my adopted father was getting sick on and off from 2006 or 7 to 2009 when he finally died. I moved in with my adopted mother and him early 2009 and he died June 19th 2009. I became closer to him than ever before he died and take comfort knowing him better.
I still hung out with my biological father and every year I begin to appreciate him as a father. This past May he took me to Atlantic City for my birthday because it was the closest town with a Hooters. We used to go to Hooters every Monday for luck for over 2 years. Maybe 2. We walked the boardwalk and even the beach that day and I had a lot of fun. We were both relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. I realized later that I was subconsciously reliving my early childhood bonding with my dad at one of the beaches he actually took me too as a kid.
I realized I don’t give him enough credit as a father and all he has done for me through the years since reconnected.
We’re getting together on Tuesday June 19 for lunch to celebrate father’s Day. I realized later that it was the 3-year anniversary of my adopted dad Bill’s death. I think it’s appropriate. They were both great Fathers. Rich Hillen Sr is the underrated one and it’s time to give back whatever I can and be a son.
Happy Father’s Day.
June 15, 2012
Angela was over again and we were happy for the minute. My parents were there from the dead and from the life. I haven’t seen my dead father since the last time I dreamed he was alive. He had never died in the last one. This time I knew he died and came back over and over. Sometimes I acknowledged he was back from the dead. Like this one. They were mad at me and they kept riding my ass. Angela was there and I didn’t want to say or do anything stupid so of course I did. I started screaming at my parents about all and nothing. When my father started back on me I yelled back.
“Yeah, well you’re the one that keeps coming back from the dead!” I screamed.
Angela was crying. Everything stopped. I felt so bad.
“You know I hate when you yell at your parents. You know I have problems with that.” She said.
Angela walked to my porch as if she was leaving. I kept apologizing to her and turned my head to apologize to my parents. I felt so bad my knees cracked with tears. My bones trembled with fear of loss of what I might have had if only I was a tolerant kinder person. She. She was breaking up with me and I was helpless like in those dreams when I find my self naked in the middle of a department store.
Angela and I are at an old movie theater and all is swell. Swollen you can say. I said. No kinks in the love. All smiles whilst holding hands like professional lovers that have been at this game longer than each of us has lived. I catch her catching me catching her looking at me and we laugh until we smell smoke. Someone burnt popcorn I thought. Flames came up through the floors I carried her down the charred rippled weak stairway to uncertainty. She held me tight with a magical look of “if we go down at least it’s together.” We made it just in time as the Fire People squirted. Squirted the last flame out.
Out of nowhere a white man dressed as Jimi Hendrix appears in the lobby as Angela and I are trying to leave the burnt building. It turns out to be my friend Tony and he is with Rolland and Jesse. I didn’t question why he was dressed in his garb or colored face. I accept too many things at face value (no pun intended) too much. Too many times. Like why was I with this beautiful girl as my eternal lover out of the blue pink and red?
“I wonder if I can buy the posters and movie star cut outs in the movie theater?” Rolland asked with no greetings or concern of our health or the fire.
Jesse was silent and patted us on the back with a “it’s going to be ok” vibe.
It was ok. I still had a friend and I had Angela.
I’m so grateful in my dreams.
May 27, 2012
I woke up in an episode of Charlie Sheen’s new television show for some reason. I was dumped off or fell into it. I felt beaten up and dirty. I watched how they referenced 2 and a Half Men and even got the characters to appear and wondered how they got the rights to do that. The set looked funny and sparse.
I ended up at the exit of a Hooters restaurant and I was counting my Hooters’ t-shirts someone gave me. I started talking to one of the waitresses about her bad tips because they worked near a casino and there were too many older people at they’re establishment. I watched her collect dollar and coin tips and felt bad. Then a group of teenagers drove by and threw more coins at the waitress walking me outside the restaurant. They were customers being assholes. I asked the girl if there were any bars near by to pick up take out. She pointed out several and I spotted a liquor store and realized it was earlier in the day than I thought it was. I checked my pockets for money as I walked towards thee illuminating lights of the store that sold liquor. I had enough to get drunk and that was ok with me as I tried to figure out where I was and how I got there.
On my way to pick up some beer and whiskey I checked my voicemails on my cell phone. It was Rebecca my first true love of my youth. The first one I planned to marry. It was a weird message to me. Apparently we were still a couple or a couple again. She was angry and forgiving for something I had just did which explained my abandonment in this town wherever I was. She wanted to remind me about November. I had no idea what she was talking about but happy she wasn’t mad about whatever I did that day or the day before. I forgot about buying the booze and woke up.