January 24, 2012
Paralyzed from the inside out.
My brain is functioning yet my body can’t move. Glued to the couch unable to even change the channel with the remote. I want a cigarette but can’t lift my arm to light it.
I can feel my insides shake nervously. Rapidly. My heart is beating a mile a minute yet I can’t move my body. My head is unfocused. The television is in front of me making blurred sounds and images.
I pray. I cry. I take deep breaths.
Finally, I can move just enough to get to the pill bottle and swallow anti-anxiety meds, I manage to sit up and wait. I fall back down.
It passes. Now I am worn out from the experience. Tired.
Whew.
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American Dream, Anti-Social, Anxiety, Art, Bipolar Disorder, Blog, Camden NJ, Commentary, Death, Depression, Disability, Disorder, Education, fear, Fiction, Hate, Heart, Internet, Love, Nothing, Pain, Photographs, Psychiatry, Sadness | Tagged: addiction, alcoholic, Anxious, Asian lovers, Bipolar disorder, blue panties, Couch potato, Depressed, depression and society, drug addict, fleshlight, girlfriends that cheat, habits, Henry miler, Love, mania, Mean Sreats, no will to give, Panic Attack, parlayzed, poetry, Rich Hillen Jr, Sadness, sex addict, slow, slow movement, stained socks, tired, trigeminal neuralgia, trumatized | 
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Rich Hillen Jr's Mind Explosions & Implosions
Paralyzed From The Inside Out
January 24, 2012Paralyzed from the inside out.
My brain is functioning yet my body can’t move. Glued to the couch unable to even change the channel with the remote. I want a cigarette but can’t lift my arm to light it.
I can feel my insides shake nervously. Rapidly. My heart is beating a mile a minute yet I can’t move my body. My head is unfocused. The television is in front of me making blurred sounds and images.
I pray. I cry. I take deep breaths.
Finally, I can move just enough to get to the pill bottle and swallow anti-anxiety meds, I manage to sit up and wait. I fall back down.
It passes. Now I am worn out from the experience. Tired.
Whew.
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