Heat

July 7, 2010

I always have an obsession or obsessions with various topics or things. Usually topics that bore other people or they find uninteresting. One time I was obsessed with being obsessed. It’s had it’s good points and bad. Too much of anything is bad for a guy like me so over all it’s not good. This brings me to my new obsession. The heat. High temperatures and their effects on me.

As far back as I can remember I have always hated the extreme heat and especially hate to sweat. I hate that dirty nasty feeling I get from sweating. I even hate to sweat during sex. I don’t like to exercise because I don’t like to sweat. I’ve avoided the heat as much as I could through most of my life. Once I discovered air-conditioning I was hooked.

About fifteen years ago I discovered that it might not be the heat. It might only be the humidity. I traveled to the west coast for the first time in 1997. Actually, it was the second time. It was my first time as an adult. Throughout Washington, Oregon, California Arizona and Nevada I didn’t sweat and found that the heat didn’t bother me that much. I remember one day in Phoenix, Arizona it was 113 degrees outside and I didn’t break a sweat. It was hot and bothered me a little but it was nothing compared to an 83 degree day in New Jersey. Up until then I wondered if my problem with the heat was in my head.

Part of it is in my head too I’m sure. I also have extreme allergies in the summer and can’t be around fresh cut grass, trees, plants etc without having a reaction. I subconsciously associate the heat with my allergies.

Top it off I’m on some medications that are not a great combination with the heat. They make me really tired if I’m in the heat too long and I also can’t eat. I end up eating later in the evening when it’s cooler out. I know this is no good for me.

This year I swore that I was not going to complain about the heat. I was going to deal with it and not say a word. Easier said than done this year. I lost my job six weeks ago and I am home more and spend more time on my porch outside so I can smoke while I write. This is also the worst year for record high temperatures in years. It was 103 degrees today. Of course I am inside more than outside when it gets this hot but I feel tired and lethargic and sick from the heat.

I started looking up articles online to see the heat’s effects on various types of people. It affects people with mental illnesses the elderly, the young, the obese, and people with different medical conditions taking different medications. So, it’s not entirely in my head.

Even so, I am still obsessed with the heat and I keep reading articles all day. I keep checking the weather on and off all day and reading the warnings on the news. Meanwhile, I am writing this on my 91 degree porch at 10:44 pm.  I am 89 % tired, 5% miserable, 4% grateful and 2% sick.


Global Warming & Cigarette Smoking

June 23, 2010

Heat first. Every year I try so hard not to complain about the heat. I try to deal with it and hide in the air conditioning until the summer is over. Problem is that my current living situation doesn’t allow me to smoke inside. I love sitting on my porch with my cigarettes, coffee and laptop when it’s less than 77 degrees but once the heat and humidity crawl in I go crazy. Sure, I’m sure you’re probably thinking “smoke less” or “quit smoking” but I don’t want to hear that. I don’t want to quit smoking. I love to smoke. For some reason I seem to be more creative when I’m smoking and drinking coffee. It’s n my head. I know that. I used to think that I would never be creative without drugs or drinking. That’s changed. So, I’d rather sweat it out on the porch just so I can smoke than work inside the cool air-conditioned house.

After this last month of being unemployed I’ve finally balanced my time. I spend so much time outside and so much time inside. I spend so much time looking for a job and so much time writing. I go to my meetings pretty much the same time every day. I go to bed and get up around the same time every day. It’s not a tight schedule but it’s better than the habits I was falling into. It might sound boring but it works for me until I find a job or the weather gets cooler or I make a living off of my art. The heat has at least helped force me to schedule a routine in my life.

My enemy has become an unexpected ally.


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