June 10, 2010

Man. This not working thing is strange to me. I haven’t been unemployed in years. I may not seem to be the type to thrive on routine but I do. I work better under structure and logic despite my outward appearance and presentation. My entire routine has been shaken up since my break up with my job. Two weeks today and I guess I’m still in shock a little bit. I’m halfway between acceptance and denial.

The first few days I ran around taking care of business. I applied for unemployment. I finished editing my book so I can take some of this free time and try and get it published. I took care of dental and medical needs before my health benefits ran out. I paid all of my immediate bills to make sure they were taken care of.

Then I settle into a state of confusion. I don’t know what day it is half the time. I lose track of time in my creative endeavors. I go to bed late and wake up late or go to bed early and wake up in the middle of the night then sleep late again. I’m depressed one minute and on top of the world the next. I’m not always self-disciplined which is why I can come off unstructured and illogical.

I need routine. I need to stick with it. Job or no job I need to set certain hours for certain things and stick to my plan. It’s only been a few weeks. I can do this.

At least I’ve been taking care of myself spiritually, creatively, and socially. Overall I am happy. Today.

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