I Woke Up with a Boner

February 11, 2012

I woke up with a boner (Written a couple months or so after my heart surgery in September 2011)

I woke up with a boner

This morning.

It was my first boner since

I was admitted to the hospital

Almost 2 months ago.

Since sex wasn’t on my mind,

I just wanted it to go away

So I could pee.

I peed and it went down.

I forgot about it until now.

My entire life I’ve been

Infected with sexual thoughts

And desires.

Occasionally going away as I

Grow older.

Older.

It seemed to have gone away

Entirely

After my hospital stay.

I noticed my lack of desire

But didn’t care.

Still don’t

Care.

I’d rather write

Or draw anyway.


God Spoke to me Last Night . . .

June 13, 2010

God spoke to me last night.

“Rich,” he said.

I was surprised that he knew my name.

“Rich, you are a miracle. You are special to me. You are loved by me and by many others.” He said.

I listened. His voice was powerful and soothing. Energetic like a self-help guru yet more down to earth.

“My son, I want you to know that your talent and wisdom can take you a long way if you use it rightly. With great power comes great responsibility.” He continued.

“I read that in Spider-Man comic books years ago.” I said.

“You’re not Spider-Man but you are a unique and special snowflake with potential. You were chosen to be clean and sober for a reason and I wanted you to hear it from me directly tonight and not just the people your 12 step meetings and your Mommy and Daddy. I hope you believe it. Believe in yourself.”

“I do. I pray to you everyday for guidance and believe in you. Sometimes I’m not sure that you believe in me.”

“I do. You are on the right path and I want you to stay on it.” God spoke his last words to me.

“I plan on it. One day at a time.” I replied.

His voice was gone but I knew that he was listening.

I fell back asleep at peace.

I woke up this morning and went back to my Morning Prayer ritual. Today it seemed more heart felt and sincere than ever. I look at the day as an opportunity to be the best Rich I can be. God will be with me with every move I make today. I wonder whether it was a dream or not and I don’t care. It felt real to me and it gave me a stronger faith in myself and God and you.

Thank you all for being there. I hope I’ll be there for you.


%d bloggers like this: