I’d rather be rejected than not know or be avoided entirely. I don’t even look at like a rejection anymore. It’s more like a “I’m not interested in you in that way” kind of thing. I’ve been in and am on the other side of that a lot and I wish I had the guts to be upfront. How do you tell someone you are not interested? That’s why I ask directly if I can’t tell. I should go with my gut. If I’m not sure and I can’t tell then 99.9 % of the time she isn’t interested in me. Otherwise it can become an unnecessary distracting obsession. Not the specific girl. It’s the question of whether she likes me that can consume me.
I’m too old and in too good of a place in my head lately to waste time obsessing over girls and playing games. Girls. Ha. I mean women. Even though I don’t have a “career” oriented job, hell, I have no job right now, and I don’t have a lot of money I am pretty confidant in who I am on most days. I’m an artist first and foremost and that’s given me problems in the past and it’s also given me great pleasure and self esteem. I am constantly involved in some kind of creative project and it keeps me confident in who and what I am.
So as far as dating goes, I’ve been taking it with a grain of salt. I talk to women that I’m interested in and sometimes vice versa. It either works or it doesn’t and I move on. Hopefully, I make a new friend or in some cases maintain a friendship I already had. This doesn’t hold true all of the time. Sometimes in moments of weakness I may obsess a little here and there but who doesn’t, right? Overall I’m at least trying to enjoy people for who they are and move on from there. It’s been fun and I’ve been growing as a person and an artist.