Excerpt from The Official History of Tomorrow’s Dream pages 87-89

June 22, 2012

NOTE: This is an excerpt from the book I wrote way back in January  2018 and published in May 2020.

Excerpt from The Official History of Tomorrow’s Dream page 87-89

How Jocko and his teamster pal Buck got over the scrap of indigo blow snort gavel, only a real scientist will tell. Examine them closely and you would never know they were table beef survivors. The tracking devices made them look cool and even lowered their temperatures but they were being watched. Every skip and jump over the sand dunes were known by Kaydick Industries.

“Jocko self serving through production of self right bbbbBuck?” Jocko asked with unquestionable certainty.

“Aww knock it off Jocks. We’ve been through this before. These feelings of inadequacy will pass. Drink this.”

Buck passed the chuckle juice to Jocko knowing it would calm him down and in turn calm them both down. Jocko took several swigs and starred into the several sunned blurry sky wishing he were still a civilian and not a runaway ex table beef. The Agency had no use for them but Kaydick Industries followed their moves for the fun of it more than any business matters at hand.

“Feel better now?” Buck asked.

“Yeah. I feel so inspired. Can I piggy back now?”

“You know you’re too heavy but if you need human contact I can ride you. Just remember last time I rode you. You tore a few stitches.”

“It’s ok. Ride me. Ride me.”

The temperature was rising near 1,046 degrees porfeos. Dry heat that humps your glands like a reptile. If you’ve ever been humped by a reptile then you know. They had no choice in a life situation like this but to keep moving. The other side of desert is the town of Gointhaw. They would be safe for a while there. One would think with a population of 456,890 they could get away and not be seen despite the high tech tracking system.


Meanwhile Ralph was helping me with my own problems. The center of my scrotum was unnerved during the last explosion. I needed Ralph’s strong hands to reach inside and “pull the strings” as the motthoppers called it in my day. Not sure of the proper medical procedure’s name. Ralph wasn’t medical. He was physical for sure. He stuck his hands right up in there, you see. And wiggled each finger one at a time until he saw my fantastic grin reaching each ear almost. Chagrin. Ouuuther.

“Thanks. I needed that.” I said.

“Uppers yup. For you I can do fritterpops. Wholesale style. Ya know.” Ralph said.

Now my only agenda was to take photo options for the Agency. They remote wired me for the mission. My brain would freeze as they send a signal telling me when to click the device resembling absolutely nothing like a camera or visual recording device. It was built into my forehead like a third eye yet invisible to the eye. It was under my skin yet the 3 kolopuy length and width lens could actually see from the far away Agency laboratory. The trigger/button was on the side of my nose and only about .006 Kintopuys. It looked like I was scratching my colossal sized honker.

It was a fairly simple routine besides the brain freeze but the Agency was cautious and paranoid so Ralph was by my side in case I ran into any trouble. In some countries and cultures scratching my nose and staring at someone would be considered rude or a primal way of saying “skitter over lipper”. Even an inactive agent like myself could get quite the head banging and artillery action for that. Ralph is there to break up any potential violence like that and multiple other types. He’s a good zoo, ya know, it’s fun to keep him around. He doesn’t need weapons. I told ya what those hands can do with my “problem”.

Satanic Voodoo Atheist TV Party Tonight

June 12, 2012

Now I don’t have it. I had it for a minute there but I lost it. It’ll come back it usually does.

I traveled to a city. New York City. We were visiting a famous Satanist’s home that took up at least four floors of a corner building. There were to be ceremonies and orgies. I was up for anything. I wasn’t there to worship Satan. I was doubtful many of the characters I met were there to worship Satan. We were there for the experiences. A girl came up to me and asked if I was ready for sex with her. I agreed neither excited by her or turned off. She was cute and chubby. Under normal circumstances I would have jumped at the chance to be with her. Some of the people there wore masks and costumes. Goat masks and black robes were the most popular but some wore superhero masks and high class feathered masquerade masks with no clothes or dressed in high society garb. The girl kept disappearing and coming back to me telling me to wait and sit and stand and lay on her bed and her sexual ceremony will start soon. It did. She was pleasant. We snuck about again while she got dressed for a ceremy. We missed the full blown orgy but the stage finale was about to begin and I pulled down my light weight mask to watch.

I lost it again. I know if I look I won’t find it. I’ll just have to relax and see if I get it back. It usually comes back.

Another City. San Francisco. Another building with floor after floor after floor. Another party and more friends I never met came with me for the ride and their kicks. They got ‘em we all did somehow. I kept getting fascinated with the ornaments hanging everywhere. They looked like Voodoo related ornaments. There were pretty young women approaching me left and right telling me about the ornaments and inviting me to the next show and I was worried that I didn’t have enough money and they kept telling me that their shows were of no cost that I have to worry about. One friend wants to leave this party and I show him that I can’t go yet because my shoes are wrong. I was wearing Docksiders with the bottoms ripped apart for some reason. I haven’t worn them in over 20 years. I didn’t want to leave anyway even though there were no orgies here. I wanted to stay and learn. Watch more shows. Meet more pretty girls showing me new ornaments. I felt alive in that building. I felt, dare I say, happy.

It slipped me again. I try fighting this time to get it back. It’s not coming. I remind myself it will. It always does. Then I feel panic that it might not come back this time. Maybe?

Santa Claus is Coming for Holly

December 25, 2011

A long time ago, almost a decade now, I dated a girl named Holly for a month before we broke up so suddenly I broke down. Intense brake down.

When we met it was magic. I didn’t believe in magic or mystical ideals at the time but I believed in love. It was magic. It was love. At least from my point of view. It took me a few weeks of courting her to finally set up our first date. Despite the seedy location of our date, an old ugly coffee shop, I felt unusually confident and the night went perfect, perfect conversation, perfect glances, perfect moves, ending in my car with hours of kissing, just kissing.

Within a week or so we were using words like love, forever, future, shacking up and togetherness. Romantic everlasting love surrounding our extreme sexual experimentation leading to wants and needs fulfilled at the same time. Best month of my life.

One fight is all it takes. She doesn’t like my lifestyle. I have no future. She is a nasty bitch. She has no appreciation of me as an artist. The argumental list goes on. We broke up. I was dumped. She was dumped. I was torn up. After a week or so we decided to try a friendship, keeping in touch every few days for a couple weeks then once a week and so on.

A week or so before Christmas we decided to see each other on Christmas because neither one of us had plans (she had plans that she didn’t want to go to and makes her unhappy) and we were feeling nostalgic and lonely (we didn’t admit the last part). It was made clear that it wasn’t a date and no gifts. I was already breaking rules.

For some reason I had been picking up things for a few weeks for her. I remembered the cream-colored wool scarf she wanted from a store in the mall, I usually wouldn’t go near, and bought it. I bought her the firs season of one of her favorite TV shows, Nip Tuck. Holly admitted that she had a secret love for holly but hated that people gave it to her because of her name. I had some holly wrapped up pretty with a note that said “My secret holiday love.” As a gag gift I had a Christmas stocking embroidered with the words “World’s Best X”.

Christmas rolled around and I slept late after working hard at the coffee shop in the mall all week. Going in at 6 am and leaving 11 pm some nights. I watched movies all night and wrote all afternoon on Christmas. I ate a turkey and cheese sandwich for dinner. Holly finally arrived around 7 pm Christmas night. I reminded myself that it was no date. We were just friends. I didn’t expect anything but her company.

We hugged an obligatory peck on the cheek followed. Holly carried 2 bags besides her purse. She had a bag with a Christmas cat on it and pink wrapping tissue flowing from the top. I pretended not to notice and secretly hoped it was a gift for me. The other bag she handed me and said it was leftovers from her family in case I haven’t eaten anything decent. I put it in fridge in the kitchen and she was making herself comfortable on the couch. When I came back. I watched her light up a cigarette. I always liked the seductive way she lit one unaware of its charm in this increasingly anti-smoking world. I sat across from her in a chair and lit one non-seductively without charm.

“How was your family thing?” I asked.

“Uhh. I got stressed just from your question. Total chaos and drunkedness. Makes me wish I had no family.”

“I have several families and I was alone. Figure that one out.”

“We’re just 2 lost lonely souls today, Rich.”

“That’s the truth.”

“Hey, I got something for you. I know we agreed not to but I had to.” Holly said pulling out the Christmas bag with pink tissue.

“Good. I got you something too. I’ll be right back.” I said as I went to my bedroom to get my bag.

I came out with my bag, no tissue. We handed our bags to the other. I caught a slight gleam in her glancing blue eyes. I smiled.

“You first.” She said.

I reached in the bag and pulled out a stack of 3 dvds tied together with a red ribbon. I pulled the ribbon off to find the incredible score: Taxi Driver, Seven Samurai and A Band Apart. I was impressed that she knew my taste and what I had in my collection.

“Ok, Your turn.” I said.

Holly reached in and grabbed the wrapped holly first. She read the note and laughed. I was one of the few people that gave it to her that knew she hated getting it even though she secretly liked it. Kind of like a lot women concerning sex that I know.

“I have one more thing in the bag.” She said.

I reached in and felt a paperback book. I pulled it out and it was a copy of Salvador Dali’s autobiography, The Secret Life of Salvador Dali. Another score for my book collection.

“Your turn.” I said.

She pulled out the dvd first season of Nip Tuck next. She unwrapped it quickly and smiled and hugged me tight, thanking me.

“There’s more.” I said.

She pulled out the Christmas stocking next. She opened it, held it up and read it. Instead of laughing like I expected she smiled and her eyes filled up. She hugged me like she was never going to let go.

“This is the best gift I ever got for Christmas and ever.” She said while hugging me.

“Really?” I said.

“It is so cool and and. I’m speechless.”

“There’s one more gift.” I said.

“Not sure I can handle anymore.”

She pulled out the wrapped box and saw the scarf and broke down again.

“I can’t believe you remembered this.”

She pulled me on the couch with her and kissed me, lovingly, passionately, and romantically. I was as happy as her.  She let our lip grip go so she could rest her head between my chest and armpit. I wrapped my arm lovingly. Her hand slipped up my shirt to graze my chest hair like she did before.

“Hey. Want to see me in my Santa Suit?” I asked.

I bought it for a party I where I was supposed to play Santa for kids and the party was cancelled. I was stuck with a brand new Santa Suit and no one to share it with. Holly was elated like a little girl and wanted to see Santa. I told her to wait while I changed. I put the full red suit over my body including the hat, beard and boot covers.

“Ho. Ho. Ho.” I said walking into the living room sitting next to Holly.

I motioned for her to sit on my lap and she touched me.

“Hi Santa.” Holly said.

“What would you like for Christmas, young lady?”

“I want Santa to fuck me.” She whispered in my ear.

“Ho. Ho. Ok.”

I lifted her off of Santa’s chair (My couch) and carried her into my bedroom, tossing her lovingly onto my bed. I leaped next to her and we rolled around kissing through the long white beard. One thing lead to another and Her clothes were off and I started to take the suit off and she stopped me. I did manage to pull the beard down for quality mouth access. We were one again. I felt alive.

“Merry Christmas.” I whispered in her ear seductively.

“Merry Christmas.” She moaned back.

It seemed it was over as fast as it started. I felt loved and satisfied if only for that moment. We stayed up too late talking, cuddling and smoking. She fell asleep in my arms. A Merry Christmas it was. We were back together again and all was well with the world.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Miss You (A Poem)

December 20, 2011

NOTE- I wrote this over a month ago when a special someone in my life seemed to have disappeared. It’s much better now but this poem is based on how I felt at the time. You know who you are.


Miss you

I do


I keep thinking it’s something I did

Or didn’t do


I thought we were mates

Of the soul

Unconditional love

Now you’re gone


I understand you have a life

You have problems too

I’ve been too self-centered

To notice


I notice

I do


Are you gone forever

Or just for a little while


Unreturned text messages

Phone calls

Over and over again

Not even a “I’m going through something”

Or a

“I can’t talk now.”


Maybe it’s a hint that

You don’t want me

Like me

Love me

Or miss me

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