No internet? “No Money”?

So, my internet is down at home. Ugh. Great timing when I’m starting up a new web site, maintaining current sites and selling my art etc has been over 25% of my monthly income. I’ll be doing what I can once a day if I’m not too sick to get to a coffee shop or something to check in.

I’ll sum up my life right now.

I am completely broke. Can’t pay the rent. Obviously can’t pay the cable. Can’t pay car insurance. Can’t pay phone bill. Etc etc etc.

I’ve been in and out of a deep depression some days I cant move when the face pain is added. I have 2 doctor appointments this week with a psychiatrist and a neurologist for social security. All of the hoops and the time it takes or this disability shit is causing me more stress, depression, anxiety, and face pain than a job. Just when I think it’s over and they made a decision I get another letter that I have to jump through another hoop. I have never been this broke in my entire life. I’m almost ready to crack from the pain of the SSD process.

I hope I’ll be posting soon. I hope you keep reading the decline of the bipolar disabled self absorbed artist named Rich Hillen Jr

One Response to No internet? “No Money”?

  1. barb says:

    I understand how it is to be so plagued by money issues that you wish u could just fast forward through this time in your life. Or sleep it away, or run away or viciously assault people who claim to have problems (because they don’t know your secrets). There are only so many things we can do to help our situations and it sounds like you’re giving it your best. I believe in you as an artist and as an individual and know that you are going to pull through this..not without scars, but because you’re supposed to. As long as your internal chemical processes are processing, you’ve got a reason for existing. Two things have helped me get out of bed evry morning: 1. If I start to feel persecuted and get all “why does this happen to Me?” I just remember that I am not more special than anyone else..and not more deserving of special negative attention from some god or whatever. And 2. A witchy friend of mine once taught me a daily magic trick that hasn’t failed me yet.every morning say “something wonderful will happen today” (or hilarious or romantic..) and sure as shit something does,when u look back on your day. Take care (keep writing though..I think that’s your special calling)

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