What a day so far. Jesus. It’s night already. I did some productive things but I feel like I did noting I had a splitting headache and feel hung-over and high the same time and I didn’t take anything to make me feel this way.
It started last night I guess. Well, it really started when I decided to move three weeks ago. I’ve been on and off anxious and sick to my stomach almost every day. I’m stressed out and I keep procrastinating and it makes the stress worse. Last night I actually started moving some things into the new house. The new house is furnished and amazing yet I’m not excited. Hopefully, once I’m moved in it will change.
Yeah, last night was horrible. I planned on going ot bed early That means going ot bed before one o’clock am instead of tow or three. I wanted ot be up at seven am because I had to do some work for my great aunt’s boyfriend. I’ll call him my uncle out of convenience. I had to be ready around eight thirty. I couldn’t sleep. I even stopped with the caffeine products earlier than usual so I would be able to. My stomach was hurting and gurgling and all that good stuff. I haven’t been eating that well lately either. SO I ended up with the shits and in the bathroom on and off until after four am. I reset the alarm for seven thirty and eventually fell asleep. I like to have at least an hour before I leave the house to get my coffee in and get my head together. This was true even when I worked full time.
I got up with my alarm. Thank God. I made coffee and had an energy drink and went through my morning meditations, medications and rituals. I was planning on running up stairs and changing at twenty minutes after eight so I’d be ready at eight thirty. My uncle pulls up right before I was got ready. I had to ask him to wait. I got dressed etc etc. We were on our way.
Surprisingly, I felt pretty awake and did the carpet-cleaning job with him and I even scored a bunch of boxes for my move. I was home by eleven thirty with boxes and money in my pocket and the day was ahead of me so I thought. I started to tire fast and was unmotivated between the heat and lack of sleep. I went upstairs to sleep in the air conditioning for a few hours. I woke up in two hours. I was the walking dead. I felt like I was drugged and hung-over. I sat in the extreme heat of the day on my porch with a fan, smoking, drinking coffee, energy drinks, water and writing and playing on the internet.
The next thing I know it’s seven pm and I realized not only hadn’t I done anything towards the move I hadn’t eaten either. I was also running out of cigarettes so this was a bit of a motivation to get go out and at least get something to eat. This made it worse. The food made me more hot and lethargic.
After almost the entire day gone I finally wet upstairs and did some packing, I finally have the energy and It’s almost midnight.
My friend told me to make a list of everything I have to do before I move. He said not to worry about doing it. Just make the list. I did do that today too. Now I finally have something to cross off of it. Did you ever make a list of things to do and then go back to it and list the things you did that were not on there to make yourself feel better? I did. I feel a little better.